We here at Festival Preview have always striven to be a non-partisan publication. I think I speak for everyone when I say that personal bias has never gotten in the way of our mission to bring festival news to the masses. It is certainly not our place to shed negative light upon any subject on which we are reporting. So with that in mind, let's discuss the Arizona State Fair in Phoenix, which started on October 10 and runs through November 2nd. The aspect of this event that's of interest to us is the concert series, which features nothing less than a wonderful...no, divine lineup of artists.

This evening will feature alternative rock band Weezer, who within the last decade have become rock superstars thanks to their Blue, Green, and most recent Red album. It's true that groups like Metallica and The Beatles have done the color concept albums at some point during their careers, but keep in mind that they only bothered to do it once. Weezer, on the other hand, went above and beyond and dared to do it not once, not twice, but three times. Not to mention, songs like "Island in the Sun", "Pork and Beans", and of course, "Undone (The Sweater Song)" are consider by many to be some of the most influential lyrical gems produced since Dylan's heyday. The band's intrigue is magnfied by their geek image (specifically shrimpy vocalist Rivers Cuomo's thick-rimmed spectacles), ironically giving them leverage to shoot a music video at the Playboy mansion. Be sure not to miss the chance to experience these alternative rock classics, made even sweeter by Cuomo's newly-sprouted upper lip fur. Hef would agree.

On Tuesday night, there will be a performance by singer/songwriter Sheryl Crow. America's favorite guitar-toting MILF is sure to play a generous amount of tunes from her rock/country/pop/folk/blues repertoire. Anybody who has collaborated with Kid Rock makes the A-list in my book. In all seriousness, Crow has participated in some pretty big-name collaborations and does deserve praise for her footprint in the music industry, not to mention her generous amount of charity work. And for someone who publicly emphasizes her desire to "Soak Up the Sun", Phoenix is the place to do it. Eat your heart out, Lance.

Mary J. Blidge, another significant female figure in the music scene, will perform the following night. On Friday the 24th, the Old School Jam will take place. This performance is a collaboration featuring rap/hip-hop artists Naughty By Nature, Ton Loc, Young MC, Klymaxx ,Club Nouveau, Timex Social Club, and Coolio. Coolio's most famous song, "Gangsta's Paradise" wouldn't have half its popularity were it not for Weird Al's even more popular parody, "Amish Paradise". Let's all keep our fingers crossed that Al will make an appearance.

There will be a performance on the 26th by AB Quintilla III and the Kumbia All Starz, followed by a concert on the 30th by...drumroll please...Meatloaf. Like Weezer, Loaf did a trio of concept albums, because one "Bat Out of Hell" was obviously not enough. His acting career has always shined through in his theatrical songwriting style. Sometimes, show tunes with a heavy metal image is just what the doctor ordered. At 61, he's still maintained the better part of his singing voice. Cheers, Loaf. We're serious when we say we'll "love you till the end of time."

LL Cool J will wrap up the concert series on November 1st. LL, all I'm going to say is that my first time hearing "Mama Said Knock You Out" was the closest experience I've ever had to spiritual enlightenment.

For those who didn't attend the fair for the first week, you missed out on a performance by Blake Shelton and Maranda Lambert, plus a show by tear-jerking superstars, The Goo Goo Dolls. Most importantly, the series was opened up by the world's most popular white trash millionare, Larry the Cable Guy. Taking FP's anti-negativity policy into account, I will state here and now that Larry the Cable Guy's country-bumpkin-inspired comedy is nothing short of side-splitting, and anyone who says that he is a waste of space and contributes absolutely nothing to society is out of line. "Get 'r done" is an original and hilarious catch phrase that certainly does not make me die a little inside every time I hear it.

Joking aside, there is lots of fun to be had at the Arizona State Fair. With $12 admission, all shows are free (reserved seats are $20). It's rare that big-name acts like these can be viewed for twelve bucks. That in and of itself deserves recognition. Visit the website for more information.

Oh, Rivers. Just look at that face. You just wanna eat him up.